THE WELCOME MAT: (A WELCOME TO THE ALIENS) Oct. 2/85 Karl Rigelhof

Welcome to the human race
(All) (you) visitors from outer space
(No matter how hard you try)
You cannot win
Among these souls of sin
You think that they/we'll/'ve buy/bought it
But they turn around and sell it
Right back to you again
For/at twice that price

Welcome to the planet Earth
(Where) they('ll) take you (in) for all/what it's/you're worth
And then they('ll) kick you out the door
Because you have no(thing) more
To offer and nothing left/more to say
You might as well be on your way
Why did you (even) come here for
In the first place

Welcome to this ball of dirt
First they('ll) break your back (and) then (they('ll)) steal your shirt
They'll humiliate you
Before they devastate you
They'll turn your concept(ion)s (of life) upside down
After they've spun your head around
But now it's (even) too late for you
They've turned you inside out
And washed those/them bad thoughts out
Now you can think and act
Now you can walk and talk
(Just) like a (red, white, and) (true) blue American

Roll out the welcome mat
Shake their hands
Tip your hat
Recite the ritual words of welcome/greeting
Even though they/you cannot/don't understand
Treat them like a(ny) (other) guest
Treat them like a man
Make them feel at home
Offer them your clone